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490 words by attila written on 2006–06–19, last edit: 2016–07–13, tags: anglo, empire ⋔ Previous post: And now, a message from the Chief Dissonance Officer ⋔ Next post: Mexico
Anglos have conquered this world and rewritten the history of their genocide in strictly heroic terms.
Well, naturally. They’re Anglos, after all, and therefore quite entitled to anything they want.
White skin is power. Remember that when the walls close in.
Half a millennium of colonial sadism and exploitation has yielded pretty much precisely the situation that its initiators would’ve desired. In fact, it couldn’t have turned out better. Spinoza was right, after all. This is the best of all possible worlds. What else could explain it?
Here’s how imperialistic anglo-capitalism works:
I come to your country and offer to help you with my shiny, advanced technology. You think this sounds pretty good, especially since I’m bribing the crap out of you because you happen to have clawed your way to the top of this particular heap. We strike a deal whereby you and yours will get rich and I get to take whatever I want from your little patch of dirt. You even throw in cheap and cooperative (read: desperate) labor to boot. You can call that “creating jobs” and “modernizing the economy,” and remind anyone who dissents how you pulled them out of the dark ages and gave them gigs digging in my mines, if it ever comes to it. I work through intermediaries and entities that are outside of the jurisdiction of the laws of my country, so that if anything goes wrong or gets out of hand it can’t cause me any real trouble. If I run afoul of someone in your country that I haven’t managed to bribe I can always explain it away by saying your country is very poor and backwards and hasn’t yet made the transition into the “global economy.” I might even complain – in veiled terms – about the terrible corruption, and how it has made it so difficult to get anything done.
That’s what you call a Really Funny Capitalist Joke. The richer you are, the funnier it gets.
All in all it’s pretty good work if you can get it. You don’t need to sell the voters at home on anything so long as you keep all the really dirty stuff safely on the other side of the planet. They’ll be perfectly happy to buy the crap you want to sell them, work at the jobs you want to give them and generally let your system grind them into smooth little pebbles. Just give some of them health insurance, maybe the promise of dental.
Oh, and don’t forget the cameras. Put lots of cameras everywhere. After all, if you aren’t doing anything wrong then you don’t have anything to worry about, right?
Gotta love those whacky capitalists: they’re all about whatever the market will bear, so long as it isn’t them you mean when you say “market.”
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